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Dept. of Total Crap: Lay's Natural Chips

I like potato chips. They’re unhealthy, totally déclassé and delicious.

Last night, after a particularly strenuous afternoon meeting, I decided to unwind with some Jack Daniels, the recently released Jackass II, and a bag of chips. Having secured beverage and DVD, I stopped at White Hen to find the chip selection very limited. Spotting a bag of Lay’s designated as “thick cut,” I went for it.

My sweet lord, what a terrible snack!

I don’t know how they do it, but the folks at Frito Lay have managed to engineer a fried potato product that tastes exactly like a baked potato product: flat, dry and with none of the salty grease I long for in a chip. I neglected to notice that these chips were billed as “country bbq,” which apparently means reddish color and sweetish taste. The cliché with chips is that you “can’t eat just one,” but with these, I was emotionally prepared to eat the whole bag but could hardly force down a fistful.

The bag broadcasts the word “natural” about ten times, which is true to the extent that the chips apparently contain no petroleum products, but over this bastard concoction hangs the stench of the lab.



Thank goodness, Jack and Jackasses delivered some enjoyment or the night would have been ruined.

David “I CAN stop eating ‘em” Hammond

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“We all have to stand before the kitchen gods.” Chef Jacob Sahaya Kumar Aruni

mmmmm .... maltodextrin ....

If you get through NW Indiana, pick up some "Peerless" potato chips at a Strack & VanTil's or Wiseway supermarket. These are made in Gary and don't get much distribution outside of the local area. Due to pressure on the food stores for shelf space by the conglomerates like Frito-Lay, they can even be hard to find at times locally.

They are just great chips. Great potato flavor, not masked by additives or processing contaminants. Never oily, salted perfectly. Not too thick or thin. Never hard. Very consistent quality. Reasonably priced. They are everything that Lay's is not. I usually pick up a case of 4 1 lb bags at their plant, if I happen to be going through Gary during the day (they seem to close around 3-4pm). Costs about $10 for the case. They also sell 10 oz bags for slightly less. Besides the standard chip, they also have curly (slightly thicker for dipping), BarBQ, and Sour Cream/Onion varieties. But I usually just stick with the classic version.

They are located between the Broadway and Grant St. exits off of I90 or I80/94. If you want to pick up something, call them ahead of time so they can have your order ready, since they don't have a retail operation. If you get the answering machine, leave a callback number and say you want to place an order. I am going to stick my neck out and say that I think you will agree that these are great potato chips.

Peerless Potato Chips
1661 W. 11th Ave.
Gary, IN
219.885.6843

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What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?

"Natural" is used in so many ways as to be virtually meaningless. You really have to look at the ingredient list to determine whether it fits your definition of natural. Hard factual statements like "No preservatives" must be true, and certain designations such as "Organic" have legally-mandated requirements, but something like "Natural" is not regulated and is fairly subjective.

Interesting, the two definitions of maltodextrin provided by google (I never had any idea what it was), particularly when you consider the sources. Not that I necessarily consider Wikipedia a fine information source, but compare their definition with Blue Bell "Naturals", and it's an interesting comparison (copied and pasted from Google):

(Powdered Honey) - is natural honey that has been spray dried into a fine powder.
bluebellnaturals.com/ingredients.htm

Maltodextrin is a moderately sweet polysaccharide used as a food additive, unrelated to barley malt. It is produced from corn starch and is usually found as a creamy white hygroscopic powder. Maltodextrin is easily digestible, being absorbed as rapidly as glucose. The CAS number of maltodextrin is 9050-36-6.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltodextrin

Did you mis-copy the definition of maltodextrin on the Blue Bell website you cited? Because when I go there, it shows the definition as:

"Maltodextrin - easily digestible carbohydrates made from natural corn starch."

Incidentally, both definitions sound almost identical (with greater detail in the wikipedia entry)...