Today, my car broke down in front of a Circle K convenience store. As I sat there endlessly waiting for salvation by AAA, I found myself staring at a 4 foot poster half exposed above several pallets of windshield fluid. The sign was entitled "Chicago's Hot Dog 2/ $2.22". Below the title, was a photo of 3 foot weenie. I decided that a convenience store chain based out of Phoenix, may actually be the absolute arbiter of the definitive "Chicago Dog" argument. After all, at least according to one
infamous Check Please guest, if you're from Phoenix, you know barbecue ribs, so maybe the inherent Arizonan culinary expertise also extends into the upper Midwest encased meat arena. From my vantage point, I could see the pictured sausage was covered in nothing but mustard and not quite radioactive green relish. I decided to inspect it closer, even peering behind the stacks of windshield fluid, just in case there was a hidden pickle spear or tomato wedge lying in ambush behind the rows of glowing blue liquid in gallon plastic bottles, but there was nary a garden in sight. So according to no less an authority than the circle K corporation of Arizona, a tube steak requires nothing beyond yellow mustard and bright green relish to attain the ranking of "Chicago's Hot Dog".
Unfortunately, a recent bout of stomach flu made me reluctant to take advantage of their most generous offer.