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Three events in the last 24 hours:

1. Intersection of Fullerton, Damen and Elston:
Old man driving an old car whose engine stalls in the intersection. Young man in SUV lays in the horn. What is accomplished by this beyond driving everyone's blood pressure up. Thankfully car restarts.

2. Parking lot of local grocery store
I come out to find the car next to me has parked within four inches of the driver's door. I am within my lined zone, they are not. After making an attempt to move into the driver's seat from the passenger's, the driver shows up. Rather than look surprised or apologetic, she scowls and gets into her car.

3. Narrow aisle of grocery store
My cart and I are against the counter sorting out vegetables. A woman loudly remarks I need to move. I look around to find this comment directed at me. I have no place to go, but a cart across could be moved just enough to clear her. I move this cart, she proceeds making some snide comment about where I positioned myself. Thankfully there were others who saw everything who also were puzzled by her reaction, too.

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Cathy2

"You'll be remembered long after you're dead if you make good gravy, mashed potatoes and biscuits." -- Nathalie Dupree
Facebook, Twitter, Greater Midwest Foodways, Road Food 2012: Podcast

I can't believe it took 3.5 years to revive this thread.

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I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~ Jason Love
There is no pie in Nighthawks, which is why it's such a desolate image. ~ Happy Stomach
I can't go to Hollywood. I got biscuits to make. ~ Dwight Henry

Late-Nite Eats Database

Hi,

It took me 10 minutes to decide which thread to throw this trifle into.

Regards,

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Cathy2

"You'll be remembered long after you're dead if you make good gravy, mashed potatoes and biscuits." -- Nathalie Dupree
Facebook, Twitter, Greater Midwest Foodways, Road Food 2012: Podcast

When the wonderful Roger Simon was a Tribune columnist, he'd occasionally do a column of random observations, and always would include one that said "People who [fill in obnoxious behavior here] should be beaten to death with sticks."

I am reminded of that now.

Someone did this to me once, forcing me to climb in through the passenger side. As I was attempting to climb over the center console without getting shoe prints all over everything (this was back before our kids destroyed the interior of our once-pristine car with spilled milk, puke, and Joe's O's), I noticed three months' worth of pay-at-the-box parking slips stuffed in the drivers-side door pocket. So I grabbed all of them - there were easily 70 or 80 of the things, as I'd been parking at meters almost daily during those three months - and climbed back out the passenger side.

I walked over to the neighboring car and shoved those things everywhere...under the wipers, in the grill, through the gaps under the hood, through the gaps under the trunk, through the gaps of the doors, inside the fuel cover, under all of the window/windshield seals, in the exhaust pipe, etc.

I remember feeling more satisfied after that than I'd felt in quite a while. If that sort of thing is wrong, I don't wanna be right. I hope that bastard enjoyed my work.

With any luck his car exploded in a giant fireball.

Just be glad you don't live across the street from Scooters...

Managed to (thankfully very gently) scrape my car against car #1 who was parked about 6 inches over the line into my garage entrance while trying to avoid SUV #2 parked halfway across my garage entrance with hazards on. I admit to fantasizing about both choking on a piece of toffee from today's flavor-of-the-day...

Happens several times a week.

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“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.” Elizabeth Taylor

I make no qualms about calling the police when shit like this happens to me in Oak Park. In fact, they encourage it. I imagine Chicago police have much better things to do, unfortunately.

Last week I spent half an hour tearing my hair out while hunting for a parking space at the hospital. Finally I found one, but the car on the left parked so far over the line that I couldn't actually get out of the car once I parked. I can't decide if it was better or worse that the car in question was a complete shitmobile.

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As a mattra-fact, Pie Face, you are beginning to look almost human. - Barbara Bennett

At least in that case you can give him the benefit of the doubt...maybe he was distraught, had an emergency, etc. I bet the giant tank next to me at the Muvico was not having any such issues.

The nice part about being a shitmobile is they won't be able to tell when you key the doors, but it would make you feel real good.

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I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~ Jason Love
There is no pie in Nighthawks, which is why it's such a desolate image. ~ Happy Stomach
I can't go to Hollywood. I got biscuits to make. ~ Dwight Henry

Late-Nite Eats Database

I am no longer throwing these out!

_________________
I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert. ~ Jason Love
There is no pie in Nighthawks, which is why it's such a desolate image. ~ Happy Stomach
I can't go to Hollywood. I got biscuits to make. ~ Dwight Henry

Late-Nite Eats Database

I've been known to exit through the trunk in these cases.

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Reading is a right. Censorship is not.

you gotta be more creative, I once did the same thing except it was with a can of cat food....on a really hot day

This is kind of a long story, but it has so much asserry in it I need to tell it in full.

This happened years ago at the Duk's that used to be at Division and Damen. I went in there around 1:30 AM and while the place wasn't packed, it had the usual assortment of interesting people it tended to have at that hour. There was only one women in line in front of me, so I figured I'd be in and out of there quickly. No such luck.

The woman had 5 kids with her (aged 4-7 or so) who were in a booth shouting their orders to her, and she seemed to have quite a few items to order herself. This approach to taking the orders was chaotic at best - instead of ordering something like "4 burgers with X, Y, and Z, 2 burgers with X and Y, and 3 dogs with Y and Z" she was ordering each item one by one. To make matters worse the kids kept changing their minds and adding to the order, which prompted her to yell at them each time before changing the order. All in all I think she ordered about 15 to 20 things. The guy working the counter spoke in broken English (with a heavy Polish accent) and was also the cook. He was clearly NOT happy with this woman, and she was picking up on that . By the time she finished placing her order they looked ready to kill each other.

After a couple minutes her food starts coming out. The cook is bagging her items as he finishes them and she opens each bag to check that the order is correct - which apparently it wasn't (although I don't know how she could have known without having the full order in front of her). She starts swearing at the guy, he starts yelling at her in Polish and waving his spatula at her, getting lines of hot grease on her face and shirt. This is too much for her and she tries to launch herself over the counter to punch the guy (they were both very large people). He grabs her neck and starts punching her in the face and pounding her head on the counter. The kids just sit and stare.

Fortunately there were a couple cops right out front (probably keeping an eye on the dealer hanging out by the pay phone) and they rush right in. They pull the woman off the counter, cuff her, and drag her out of Duk's. The kids are left behind in the booth.

So…. Now it's my turn to order. I keep it simple - 2 dogs w/mustard, onions, tomatoes, pickles and an order of fries. The cook turns the order around quickly, I pay, and I'm good to go. I'm starving (remember, I'm at Duk's at 1:30 in the morning) so I reach into the bag to start in on one of the hot dogs before leaving the counter. My order is completely wrong - 3 dogs, relish, no onions, 2 orders of fries.

I thanked the guy behind the counter and went on my way.

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It is VERY important to be smart when you're doing something stupid

- Chris

Dude, you're a badass! When a story starts w/ that sentence it usta end w/ someone dead.