Went to Smak-Tak for the first time tonight and had a pretty bad meal. I've been talking this place up for months so I brought my Polish parents here for a "big night out." Looks like the next four or five dinners will be on me after this debacle.
After talking about what to get and how to best share the experience we went with some items we probably knew the best—soups, pierogis, stuffed cabbage and potato pancakes—figuring we've had/made these enough and they would give us a good rundown of the restaurant.
Damn, guys. Not sure what kind of Polish food you grew up on but there were few highlights.
Polish rye w/ butterQuite good. Nice crust and tasted right.
Red borscht soupThis hit on all cylinders. Really nice with a real depth in the flavors. One of the best I've had. Everyone liked how light the broth was, yet the bowl was hearty enough to be a meal of its own with some dipping bread. I thought we were "on our way" at this point. Little did I know this would be the best thing we'd get by a longshot.
Chicken noodle soupNot good. Looked nothing like the photos posted earlier. No celery. No carrots. No chicken. WTH kind of Polish chicken soup is this? Just broth and noodles with parsley floating on top. If you like Mrs. Grass then this is probably your favorite soup in Chicago because this tasted exactly like it. (In fact they may have not made chicken soup today—hence the "no chicken" part"—and this may have been Mrs. Grass with some extra black pepper in it. Awful.)
Pierogis We specifically ordered an equal mix of cheese/potato, sauerkraut/mushrooms, sweet cheese and meat. We got 8 or 9 sweet cheese and 1 each of the others. How they messed this up with us being the only ones in there, I have no idea. Guess they were out of the good ones? Joking aside, the lone sauerkraut and mushroom filled pierogi was really good but the other fillings were average at best. I've had much better, I've had much worse. Why were they absolutely
drowning in butter on the plate? Butter is tasty but that much, really? Good pierogis do not need that much. But like many others, I grew up on boiled and then pan-seared pierogis to get that drier, crispier crust so maybe that's what they were missing for me. Non pan-seared pierogis is just CRAZY talk. The applesauce and sour cream served for dipping were fine.
Potato pancakesThese were just a major disaster all-around. My mother pushed these aside and did not even eat more than three bites so I knew the dinner was unsalvageable at this point. They had this really, REALLY strong, bold burnt lard flavor. If you like that flavor then yes these would melt your face off because it's all I tasted. Yes, it is traditional to use lard to cook potato pancakes but there are other ways to do potato pancakes that are not so heavy-handed. The problem with this style is that it's the first thing that hits your palette and then it just... stays. It's very tough to get rid of that. Because potatoes are like sponges it was tough to pick anything else up other than the heavy lard. No pan seared potato flavor that I usually long for. No spices or anything unique at all. No crispy edges. Also, the mealy texture just isn't right in these. Proper potato pancakes need to have at least SOME shredded potatoes to be done right, in my opinion. That's the only way to get those super crispy edge of which these did not have. How ronnie_suburban could say these were the best he's ever had blows my mind. We clearly had two completely different cakes.
Stuffed cabbage rollsKnown as "gwumpki" to me growing up, I've probably had this dish a few hundred times, although it's not my favorite. My Polish father is the opposite and this is his absolute favorite dish. (I've always told people my Dad can judge two things in Chicago properly: hot dogs and gwumpki because he's eaten more of both than any normal human should.) So, I brought him here hoping these would impress him and he said this was one of the worst sauces he'd ever tasted. Just looking at it we could see something was wrong as it was bright pink instead of orange. It was a really, really sweet, pungent flavor that we've never tasted in stuffed cabbage before. None of us could pinpoint that flavor but it was very strong and it overpowered the otherwise decent tasting cabbage rolls. The filling was pretty good but he said they needed more garlic and especially more onions for some kick. That sauce though. Yowzers.
Mashed potatoesPowdered with a sprinkle of dill. Rly? Bone dry and what you'd expect if this were Old Country Buffet. Pretty awful.
Slaw & carrot slawVery bland on the standard slaw. Not good by any definition. The carrot slaw had something sweet and mildly acidic going on but honestly, no flavor here either. Pretty terrible.
Aside from the food, not a single diner came in for the duration of the meal. Nobody. And the server said maybe four words to us the whole time. I also think it's bullshit when a full service casual restaurant makes you spring for bottled water in addition to your sodas/drinks like this place did.
You can hypothesize all you want on why this place is always empty. My opinion? It's awful.
While I don't absolutely love every single GNR that I've tried so far, this is the first I've visited that I would absolutely never return to or recommend under any circumstance.