Thanks to David Hammond's article (I'm sure there's a link around somewhere), I remembered that Kuma's had opened in Schaumburg, and SueF and I had too-much burgers.
At about 6:30 on a Thursday, there was minimal line, seating outdoors (where the heavy metal will not make your ears bleed -- another feature shared with the original) was immediate. Service was friendly and attentive, better than i'd gotten on Belmont (just due to crowding). The food? Perfectly prepared over-the-top burgers.
I had the Absu, with tomatillo salsa, queso fresco, avocado relish, deep-fried peppers and probably six or seven other things. SueF had the monthly special which featured bacon-wrapped dates (stealing from Avec's lunch menu), gouda, and pickled onions. Both perfectly cooked, and while there's too many things on the sandwich, they balance nicely. $3 upcharge for a salad instead of fries is probably just to discourage salads. Fries are nicely crisp skin-on, as expected.
I had a pint of Seattle Dry Cider which was on tap, but I wasn't impressed with its dryness. Perhaps if it had been colder (cider should be served colder than beer, and the high-80s weather warmed it quickly). Nothing special about this one, unfortunately.
So are there any negatives to eating Kuma's in the burbs? It's a little too sanitized-looking. The inside, except for the hair-flinging videos, could be a sports bar anywhere. Not much can be done about the exterior, but the signage is very bland: Big white serif letters spelling out "Kuma's Corner" (which could be a bakery, a sandwich shop, etc.) and their bear icon. Some color, some deformation of the letters would give this a bit more of the transgression of the heavy metal lifestyle. Here, all you get is the sound, and the wonderful, wonderful gluttony of 10oz of beef topped with, usually, more meat.
What is patriotism, but the love of good things we ate in our childhood?
-- Lin Yutang