I had a memorable experience at Marianos a few nights ago. Thought this mite be worth a giggle. No idea how I wind up in these situations, but it makes life interesting, imo. I had a few hours to kill in something called Glen Ellyn, so I brought a cooler and ice packs, and decided to do some grocery shopping at Marianos and Whole Foods. Both had just a few specific items I wanted to load up on. Should be quick stops in the area. First off - I should say that I had a flippin fantastic dinner at Ghareeb Nawaz in Lombard before any of this. Their meat thali and parathas were OUTSTANDING that night. I carbed out big time, and it was glorious. I skipped the rice, but ordered an extra paratha. So, after carbfest, I headed out on my mission to Marianos. My objective was to buy a bunch of their housemade snausage, which was on sale for $2.99/lb. I'e tried a few of their varieties, and found them to be decent. Figured I'd try a few more. So, granted, it was Tuesday night, 7pm, the store was basically empty, which, I liked. I headed to the "Butcher Counter" as it's labeled. and saw that they had quite a few different sausages on display, probably upwards of 10-12. BUT, only 3 of them were labeled. One was Hot Italian, and the other was Sweet Italian, and one was Bratwurst. A few of them had big green chunks, red chunks, little green flecks, dark flecks, white flecks, white chunks - a decent looking variety. I remembered I really did like their "Giardiniera Sausage." I started getting giddy to try whatever these unlabeled snausages were. So...
A very pleasant young lady comes out to the counter, and asks if she can help me with anything. I say, "what's up? I'm gonna get a bunch of sausage to try." She says, "cool!"
So, then, I say, "There's a lot of stuff here, but almost none of it is labeled."
She says, "Yeah, they barely label any of this stuff anymore so..."
Me:
Her: "That one might have like Feta in it."
Me:
Her:
Me:
Her:
We basically stared at each other for like 8 seconds.
Me: Ok, well, have a good night, I guess.
As I left, I reassured myself that my kids will obviously be trillionaires by the time they are 30, and I'm guessing they'll barely have to even try, if the "competition" still trends the way I'm viewing this new world.
Not as great of a story, but when I went to Whole Foods after that, the cashier asked me if I wanted to pay using my Prime Account. I should also say that the cashier was super nice, extremely friendly, and very easy on the eyes, to boot. I said "sure, but I truly don't know how to do it." I've never done it before, but I have all my credit card details in the app, and I know that it's possible to do. I had the QR code at the ready for the membership discount, and that's about as far as I got. So, then she says, "I know that it's possible, but I really just don't know how to do it, so..."
And then, another stare off.
Me: Well, can I just use a credit card instead?
Her: "Sure"
Me: Card tap on the machine.
This is all true.
We cannot be friends if you do not know the difference between Mayo and Miracle Whip.
Pronoun: That fool over there
Identifies as: A human that doesn't need to "identify as" something to try to somehow be interesting.