[Rant]
Root beer floats must be made with cheap-ass generic vanilla ice cream and A&W root beer. This is not an opinion, it is a scientific fact (I just pulled out of my ass).
You must serve them in a tall glass - plastic is verboten.
They must be served with a straw AND an ice tea spoon.
You must NEVER limit your children to just one - unlimited root beer floats are a God given right of every child during the summer break.
Anyone who asks must be given a root beer float - ESPECIALLY the neighbor's kids - floats FOR everyone!
At least once a month in the summer (June - August) you MUST make your children root beer floats - this is the law (look it up).
If you run out and someone has not gotten a float you MUST immediately go get more fixins.
During the floatathon there may by NO talk of spoiling dinner - WTF do you think we're doing here?!
Cola, while good, is NOT a float - it is a Brown Cow!
[/Rant]