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Comparative Experience Shopping in the Time of Covid

Comparative Experience Shopping in the Time of Covid
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  • Comparative Experience Shopping in the Time of Covid

    Post #1 - May 24th, 2020, 8:52 am
    Post #1 - May 24th, 2020, 8:52 am Post #1 - May 24th, 2020, 8:52 am
    What I mean is, which chains (or particular locations) are doing a better and worse job of enforcing safety measures?

    They're supposed to require masks. How scrupulously does your store enforce this?

    Some stores have one-way aisle arrows so customers don't cross each others' paths. How scrupulously do customers at your store follow these directions, and does the store make an effort to see that they are followed?

    Does your store fall short, or to the contrary, does it go well beyond the call of duty?
    Pithy quote here.
  • Post #2 - May 24th, 2020, 10:01 am
    Post #2 - May 24th, 2020, 10:01 am Post #2 - May 24th, 2020, 10:01 am
    My impression is that as the number of shoppers increases beyond a certain point, it becomes virtually impossible to enforce all of the necessary rules. In that sense, Trader Joe’s is doing everything right: limiting the number of customers inside the store at any given time and giving everyone a complete rundown of the rules before they go in.

    H Mart (Niles) provides hand sanitizer and plastic gloves, but after that, you’re pretty much on your own. Business seems to be somewhat slow, so it’s usually easy to distance, especially on weekdays.

    If you’re in a high-risk group or otherwise uncomfortable with intimate contact with strangers, I would avoid Fresh Farms (Touhy) for the time being.
  • Post #3 - May 24th, 2020, 11:37 am
    Post #3 - May 24th, 2020, 11:37 am Post #3 - May 24th, 2020, 11:37 am
    This is all great info, cilantro. Your observation of Trader Joe's supports my wife's experience there. She tells me they have staff wiping down each and every shopping cart before it goes back into circulation.
    Pithy quote here.
  • Post #4 - May 24th, 2020, 11:46 am
    Post #4 - May 24th, 2020, 11:46 am Post #4 - May 24th, 2020, 11:46 am
    Hi- A friend of mine was at the Chicago Ave . Jewel about a week before the mayor told every one they had to wear a mask in the store, and she said a Jr. High age kid was skateboarding in the store and nobody was stopping him!

    I have been to three different Jewel stores, two WF, a Trader Joe's, Sams Club Target and Valli. The worst experience was when we only had a few cases, and I went to the Green Bay Wilmette store, and it was mobbed because people were hording. I have been to that Jewel store twice since then, and they now have signs up for the aisles, and most people are social distancing. I have found out that the best times to go to Jewel are early in the morning or in the evening. I went to the Chicago Ave. store once on Saturday afternoon, and that is the only time I actually had to wait in line, and they do make people wear masks at that store. The people at that store are not as good with the social distancing though, and the last time I was there they had taken down the arrow signs in the aisles which people were not following anyway.

    The other two places where I had to wait in line were Trader Joe's and Sams Club. The one time I went to Trader Joe's though they gave priority to Seniors though, which I have heard they don't do any more. At Sams Club the pharmacy was closing in 15 minutes, and there was a 30 minute wait to get in, and so I left. When I went back two days later, there was still a 30 minute wait, but I told them I was just going to the pharmacy, and they let me in. When I went there this last Wednesday to pick up another prescription, there was no line. They let a max of 300 people in the store at one time.

    At both of the WF stores I went to in Evanston, most people were social distancing, and people were disinfecting carts. I also went to Valli once last Wednesday, and they had a separate entrance and exit, and it was not very crowded, but I went there at 7:30. I don't know if I would want to go there on Tuesday which is Senior day.

    The only other place I have had to wait in line is the Evanston farmer's market. Yesterday the line was the longest I have seen. It just took me 10 minutes to enter the market though. While I was walking to the end of the line, I saw somebody in line with his dog, and I informed him that dogs were not allowed, and he said he was wondering about that. There they only let in 105 people at a time, and you have to wear a mask.
  • Post #5 - May 24th, 2020, 12:18 pm
    Post #5 - May 24th, 2020, 12:18 pm Post #5 - May 24th, 2020, 12:18 pm
    The Jefferson Park Marianos started their sanitation game strong. A masked, gloved employee was wiping down individual carts and dispersing them individually. All employees seemed to be wearing masks and gloves. Shoppers were mostly wearing their masks correctly(while the store has little jurisdiction in enforcing this.) Although, the one way aisle markings were ignored, the aisles were not crowded. The pharmacy area was the best example to me and one part of the store that I use. They have walled off the majority of the pharmacy with the accordion slats and installed a plexiglass divider at the cash register. In addition, all pharmacy employees wear masks and gloves from what I've seen. They also have a sign up on the doors stating capacity is currently at 50% normal.

    The last two trips I noticed non-compliance in a couple distinct areas. The carts weren't wiped down but sprayed in the general direction where they had been stacked. One bagger had no mask, another employee at self check out wore their mask below their nose and a third employee ate while she walked (possibly on break but still rubbed me the wrong way.) I sent an email to corporate the first time and thought I'd give them one more chance. When I returned and saw the same employee at the self checkout wiping down the consoles with the mask below her nose, I stopped to point it out to a manager. While this is my most convenient Marianos, I may find myself going back to the always busy six corners Jewel or the Marianos at Western and Roscoe. However, I will return just for the pharmacy at the Jefferson Park Marianos.
    "And if you don't know, now you know." -BIG
  • Post #6 - May 24th, 2020, 12:34 pm
    Post #6 - May 24th, 2020, 12:34 pm Post #6 - May 24th, 2020, 12:34 pm
    cilantro wrote:If you’re in a high-risk group or otherwise uncomfortable with intimate contact with strangers, I would avoid Fresh Farms (Touhy) for the time being.
    Having been there yesterday afternoon, I second this. It wasn't surprising since I've been there before during this, but nobody should enter under any illusion that it isn't crowded, specifically the fruit and vegetables at the start (small bottleneck at the bakery at the end too). They still had a 2lbs bag of 16-20 count shrimp I was hoping for, so it wasn't for naught.
  • Post #7 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm
    Post #7 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm Post #7 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm
    I live more or less half way in between the Touhy Fresh Farms and the Golf Rd. Fresh Farms.

    I think on the whole the Touhy store is superior, but if I'm shopping from home [as opposed to coming home from work] I'll go to Golf because it's less crowded.

    I was there Thursday and loaded up my cart with fresh fruits and veggies. There was one mope with no mask, and another mope who was wearing his mask around his chin. I heard several calls for the manager on the PA, which I'm guessing was a request for help with a non-compliant shopper. No-one was doing anything I saw to clean up the carts.

    Sigh. I'm trying to shop as little as I can.

    [I'll share a little secret with you. The Touhy store isn't too bad on Friday evenings. I think it may have something to do with Muslim & Jewish clientele who have more important things to do on Friday nights?]

    Giovanna
    =o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=o=

    "Enjoy every sandwich."

    -Warren Zevon
  • Post #8 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm
    Post #8 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm Post #8 - May 24th, 2020, 12:50 pm
    bweiny wrote:specifically the fruit and vegetables at the start

    I honestly have never figured out how to get through there with my virtue intact, pandemic or no.
  • Post #9 - May 24th, 2020, 4:21 pm
    Post #9 - May 24th, 2020, 4:21 pm Post #9 - May 24th, 2020, 4:21 pm
    It bothers me that one-way aisle markings are ignored by customers and unenforced by management, because it seems to me this is so little to ask and such an easy thing for a customer to abide by. So you're at the wrong end of the coffee aisle. Is it that big a deal to wheel your cart up the immediately adjacent aisle so that you can approach the coffee aisle from the correct direction?
    Pithy quote here.
  • Post #10 - May 24th, 2020, 4:27 pm
    Post #10 - May 24th, 2020, 4:27 pm Post #10 - May 24th, 2020, 4:27 pm
    riddlemay wrote:It bothers me that one-way aisle markings are ignored by customers

    Maybe I'm picking nits but I'd venture less ignored more completely oblivious to aisle arrows. I noticed I was going the wrong way by chance looking at an item on the bottom shelf. Up until that time I completely forgot about aisle arrows. I immediately reversed direction and followed the rules.
    Hold my beer . . .

    Low & Slow
  • Post #11 - May 24th, 2020, 5:10 pm
    Post #11 - May 24th, 2020, 5:10 pm Post #11 - May 24th, 2020, 5:10 pm
    G Wiv wrote:
    riddlemay wrote:It bothers me that one-way aisle markings are ignored by customers

    Maybe I'm picking nits but I'd venture less ignored more completely oblivious to aisle arrows. I noticed I was going the wrong way by chance looking at an item on the bottom shelf. Up until that time I completely forgot about aisle arrows. I immediately reversed direction and followed the rules.

    Considering the quality of driving on the roads, none of this surprises me at all. Frankly, it's amazing that even though the roads are relatively empty these days, the number of horrible drivers out there seems to have remained about the same. Then these folks get out of their cars and go into stores. Makes perfect sense, if you ask me.

    =R=
    Same planet, different world
  • Post #12 - May 24th, 2020, 5:48 pm
    Post #12 - May 24th, 2020, 5:48 pm Post #12 - May 24th, 2020, 5:48 pm
    Two stores this week.

    In the Middle Eastern store, all of the women were wearing masks. Very few of the men were. The store is small and cramped. However, I needed three items and was out in six minutes.

    In the Asian supermarket, again, nearly all the women were wearing masks. Most of the Asian men were wearing masks. Very few of the other men were. However, there were a couple of soccer mom types with children and no one was wearing a mask.

    I missed several of the items that I was looking for as I could not find them. I wanted to get out of there in 15 minutes but it took 22. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable so I cut my visit short.

    I do not plan to return to supermarkets for a couple of months other than to pick up orders At Walmart and Krogers.
  • Post #13 - May 24th, 2020, 6:36 pm
    Post #13 - May 24th, 2020, 6:36 pm Post #13 - May 24th, 2020, 6:36 pm
    jlawrence01 wrote:Two stores this week.

    In the Middle Eastern store, all of the women were wearing masks. Very few of the men were. The store is small and cramped. However, I needed three items and was out in six minutes.

    In the Asian supermarket, again, nearly all the women were wearing masks. Most of the Asian men were wearing masks. Very few of the other men were. However, there were a couple of soccer mom types with children and no one was wearing a mask.

    I missed several of the items that I was looking for as I could not find them. I wanted to get out of there in 15 minutes but it took 22. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable so I cut my visit short.

    I do not plan to return to supermarkets for a couple of months other than to pick up orders At Walmart and Krogers.

    It may be worth noting, for those who don't know, that you're not currently living in Chicagoland. Is it Arizona?

    =R=
    Same planet, different world
  • Post #14 - May 24th, 2020, 6:46 pm
    Post #14 - May 24th, 2020, 6:46 pm Post #14 - May 24th, 2020, 6:46 pm
    Ever since the mayor of Evanston required everybody to wear a mask when they are in an establishment, I always see people wearing masks, and the Chicago Ave. Jewel even has somebody stationed outside the store to check and see if people are wearing masks. Although some people at Jewel are improvising. One week when I was there I saw somebody with a sweat shirt wrapped around his head and covering his mouth. The last time I was at that store I saw somebody wearing a jacket, and the collar of his jacket was covering his mouth. I am not sure how much either of those options do any good. Masks are hard to come by anyway.

    Whole Foods will not let you into the store either if you are not wearing a mask, although they mentioned a few weeks ago that they were going to give disposable masks to those customers who did not have one. The last time I was in the store though, I did not see anybody with a pile of masks to distribute.

    Sams Club will not let you into the store unless you have a mask either. The last time I was in the Wilmette Jewel they seemed to have their aisles marked better as far as what direction you are supposed to go, but in order to not screw things up, I just went down most of the aisles so I would not get confused. At that store most of the people were following the arrows though.

    Last week at the Evanston Farmers market there was only one person that showed up without a mask, and that person went to the city of Evanston table, and purchased a bandana for $2 to use at the market. I think a fair amount of people are either doing the pick up at Walmart or another store, or are having their groceries delivered, and so the crowds are not as bad, and people are not going to the grocery store as often either. I know I am not.

    They seem to have more registers open at Jewel too, and so the checkout lines are not as long, and I do not see as many families shopping either, it is more single people or couples.
  • Post #15 - May 24th, 2020, 7:13 pm
    Post #15 - May 24th, 2020, 7:13 pm Post #15 - May 24th, 2020, 7:13 pm
    I just looked it up and there are currently only 8 states that require everybody to wear a mask when they are shopping. Arizona is not one of them, and neither is California which surprised me.
  • Post #16 - May 25th, 2020, 5:05 am
    Post #16 - May 25th, 2020, 5:05 am Post #16 - May 25th, 2020, 5:05 am
    NFriday wrote:I just looked it up and there are currently only 8 states that require everybody to wear a mask when they are shopping. Arizona is not one of them, and neither is California which surprised me.


    What a diffference a state makes. Had to defy the Illinois stay-at-home rule and make a run to NW Wisconsin last weekend. It was the day after the WI courts reversed the state's stay-at-home order. The plan was to stay on property as advised to those from outside the state, but we needed to do a propane tank exchange. Drove to Hayward and it was business as usual at the Walmart. Lots of people and the only ones wearing masks were from out of state. Granted, Sawyer County only recorded four cases of Coronavirus, but I must admit, I was nervous.
    Ms. Ingie
    Life is too short, why skip dessert?
  • Post #17 - May 25th, 2020, 8:47 am
    Post #17 - May 25th, 2020, 8:47 am Post #17 - May 25th, 2020, 8:47 am
    I went to Fresh Farms in Niles on West Touhy last week at 3 pm on Thursday.

    They had plastic gloves they asked you to wear when you entered.

    I feel like folks were masked. I didn't really notice. I was masked.

    The cleaning supplies were well stocked except the VIP items (Lysol, Clorox wipes, etc, were out).

    It was crowded but nothing crazy. Folks observed social distancing at the registers.

    I feel like I had most aisles to myself.
    Last edited by pairs4life on May 26th, 2020, 12:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
    Ava-"If you get down and out, just get in the kitchen and bake a cake."- Jean Strickland

    Horto In Urbs- Falling in love with Urban Vegetable Gardening
  • Post #18 - May 25th, 2020, 9:59 pm
    Post #18 - May 25th, 2020, 9:59 pm Post #18 - May 25th, 2020, 9:59 pm
    Cathy2 wrote:In Indiana (on Saturday), I saw people sitting in restaurants and other places shuttered or no-contact delivery. Yet McDonald's was drive-thru only. I saw some police officers with no masks and no social distancing, but everyone else at this truck stop were wearing masks, social distancing and not allowed to dine in place. I did ask the officers if I would be in trouble, if I did not wear a mask. They thought I was funny. I just did not want to find myself on the wrong side of the law

    We did stop at Balkan Grill, which serves grilled food from Yugoslavia. Their clientele are long distance truck drivers from the old country and locals. They were not only masked, they would not let you into their waiting area in a former tractor trailer. They had two picnic tables stacked on top of each other to assure nobody entered. When you wanted to order food, they directed you to go to their website.

    If they had rostiljska kobasica, I would have ordered.

    We did pass a biker bar in Gary, Indiana. No masks, no social distancing and no place I would want to be at this time (or ever, let's be truthful).

    A liquor store posted a sign advising 50% occupancy. No indication how many people this meant or anyone at the door supervising this. Admittedly, the parking lot was not filled to capacity.

    In Northwest Indiana, there really was a wide range of responses. I would expect a similar range of response in Illinois, if allowed to choose. Some places wide open and others cautious, from this small sample I expect a similar range happening everywhere.

    Regards,
    Cathy2
    Cathy2

    "You'll be remembered long after you're dead if you make good gravy, mashed potatoes and biscuits." -- Nathalie Dupree
    Facebook, Twitter, Greater Midwest Foodways,
  • Post #19 - May 27th, 2020, 12:21 am
    Post #19 - May 27th, 2020, 12:21 am Post #19 - May 27th, 2020, 12:21 am
    When I went to the Evanston Aldi's today, they were sanitizing carts and you did not need a quarter. Not all of the customers were social distancing. I bought some cheap strawberries, milk, bananas and yogurt, but when I looked at bread the only bread I saw that looked healthy did not have a shelf tag, but I decided to buy it anyway. I got to the register and realized that it was organic bread that was $4.49 a loaf which is more than I was hoping to spend, but it is okay.

    I then went to Jewel on Chicago Ave, and I was able to get in to the store right away. They had the arrow signs back up for the aisles, but most people were not following them. By the time I left at 7:00, there was a line to get into the store. Jewel still did not have any yeast, but they did have small bags of whole wheat flour, and lots of Gold Medal flour, although I did not see any bread flour. They had lots of toilet paper for a change, and they had lots of meat, including some Harvestland chicken that was 30% off. Somebody else posted on another post that there is a run on canned tomatoes, which surprises me.

    Has anybody been to Heinen's or Sunset yet? I am wondering how they are handling COVID?
  • Post #20 - May 29th, 2020, 4:12 pm
    Post #20 - May 29th, 2020, 4:12 pm Post #20 - May 29th, 2020, 4:12 pm
    Maybe I am part of the problem.

    I don't get the one way aisles in the grocery stores. I go the one way, but if someone in front of me is slowly going down the aisle, I am passing them. This is especially true if I am going down this aisle simply so that I can get to the correct direction on the aisle I want to go down.

    I think the effort to stay 6 ft. apart in a grocery is doomed no matter what is done. But as I said, perhaps I am part of the problem.
  • Post #21 - May 29th, 2020, 4:56 pm
    Post #21 - May 29th, 2020, 4:56 pm Post #21 - May 29th, 2020, 4:56 pm
    lougord99 wrote:Maybe I am part of the problem.

    I don't get the one way aisles in the grocery stores. I go the one way, but if someone in front of me is slowly going down the aisle, I am passing them. This is especially true if I am going down this aisle simply so that I can get to the correct direction on the aisle I want to go down.

    I think the effort to stay 6 ft. apart in a grocery is doomed no matter what is done. But as I said, perhaps I am part of the problem.

    It’s not just you. It’s a stupid idea that’s rarely enforced or observed. What’s the difference passing someone going the same direction or the opposite of you?
    Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche - Lewis Grizzard
  • Post #22 - May 30th, 2020, 5:41 am
    Post #22 - May 30th, 2020, 5:41 am Post #22 - May 30th, 2020, 5:41 am
    Dave148 wrote:
    lougord99 wrote:Maybe I am part of the problem.

    I don't get the one way aisles in the grocery stores. I go the one way, but if someone in front of me is slowly going down the aisle, I am passing them. This is especially true if I am going down this aisle simply so that I can get to the correct direction on the aisle I want to go down.

    I think the effort to stay 6 ft. apart in a grocery is doomed no matter what is done. But as I said, perhaps I am part of the problem.

    It’s not just you. It’s a stupid idea that’s rarely enforced or observed. What’s the difference passing someone going the same direction or the opposite of you?

    I'm not getting on anyone's case here, but isn't the answer to that question simple? When someone approaches you, their droplets are being projected in the direction of your nose and mouth, and yours are being projected in the direction of theirs. When someone passes you from behind (or you pass someone from behind), that isn't the case.
    Pithy quote here.
  • Post #23 - May 30th, 2020, 6:40 am
    Post #23 - May 30th, 2020, 6:40 am Post #23 - May 30th, 2020, 6:40 am
    riddlemay wrote:
    Dave148 wrote:
    lougord99 wrote:Maybe I am part of the problem.

    I don't get the one way aisles in the grocery stores. I go the one way, but if someone in front of me is slowly going down the aisle, I am passing them. This is especially true if I am going down this aisle simply so that I can get to the correct direction on the aisle I want to go down.

    I think the effort to stay 6 ft. apart in a grocery is doomed no matter what is done. But as I said, perhaps I am part of the problem.

    It’s not just you. It’s a stupid idea that’s rarely enforced or observed. What’s the difference passing someone going the same direction or the opposite of you?

    I'm not getting on anyone's case here, but isn't the answer to that question simple? When someone approaches you, their droplets are being projected in the direction of your nose and mouth, and yours are being projected in the direction of theirs. When someone passes you from behind (or you pass someone from behind), that isn't the case.

    I get that. It only applies "if" they happen to sneeze or cough as I'm passing them.
    Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche - Lewis Grizzard
  • Post #24 - May 30th, 2020, 6:42 am
    Post #24 - May 30th, 2020, 6:42 am Post #24 - May 30th, 2020, 6:42 am
    Since all parties involved have masks on, I don't think the direction and momentum of the air particles is the issue. If anything, the person going in an opposite direction is past you quicker as opposed to people going in the same direction for a longer period of time.

    I was of the belief that the one-way aisles were simply an effort to reduce crowding. If there's a single entrance point leading to a single exit, it's more difficult for a group of people to converge.
  • Post #25 - May 30th, 2020, 8:29 am
    Post #25 - May 30th, 2020, 8:29 am Post #25 - May 30th, 2020, 8:29 am
    bweiny wrote:I was of the belief that the one-way aisles were simply an effort to reduce crowding. If there's a single entrance point leading to a single exit, it's more difficult for a group of people to converge.


    Yes, this.

    Here’s some articles on the rationale and whether it is effective:

    Grocers implement one-way aisles

    Shoppers are flouting grocers' one-way aisle rules
  • Post #26 - May 30th, 2020, 10:37 am
    Post #26 - May 30th, 2020, 10:37 am Post #26 - May 30th, 2020, 10:37 am
    Dave148 wrote:
    riddlemay wrote:
    Dave148 wrote:
    lougord99 wrote:Maybe I am part of the problem.

    I don't get the one way aisles in the grocery stores. I go the one way, but if someone in front of me is slowly going down the aisle, I am passing them. This is especially true if I am going down this aisle simply so that I can get to the correct direction on the aisle I want to go down.

    I think the effort to stay 6 ft. apart in a grocery is doomed no matter what is done. But as I said, perhaps I am part of the problem.

    It’s not just you. It’s a stupid idea that’s rarely enforced or observed. What’s the difference passing someone going the same direction or the opposite of you?

    I'm not getting on anyone's case here, but isn't the answer to that question simple? When someone approaches you, their droplets are being projected in the direction of your nose and mouth, and yours are being projected in the direction of theirs. When someone passes you from behind (or you pass someone from behind), that isn't the case.

    I get that. It only applies "if" they happen to sneeze or cough as I'm passing them.

    Or speak.

    =R=
    Same planet, different world
  • Post #27 - May 30th, 2020, 12:02 pm
    Post #27 - May 30th, 2020, 12:02 pm Post #27 - May 30th, 2020, 12:02 pm
    Given the large number of people who have trouble with one-way traffic in store parking lots, does anyone think one-way traffic would work better in the store.
  • Post #28 - May 30th, 2020, 1:07 pm
    Post #28 - May 30th, 2020, 1:07 pm Post #28 - May 30th, 2020, 1:07 pm
    ronnie_suburban wrote:
    Dave148 wrote:I get that. It only applies "if" they happen to sneeze or cough as I'm passing them.

    Or speak.

    Or breathe. Check out this nifty article from an upcoming issue of Journal of Fluid Mechanics. One startling sentence: "Recent studies have noted that, while breathing generates droplets at a much lower rate, it probably accounts for more expired bioaerosols over the course of a day than intermittent events such as coughing and sneezing."

    It's sad, but I've come to regard humans as large disease-ridden sacs, constantly spewing droplets of virus-laden spit and mucus in every direction, to be avoided whenever possible.
  • Post #29 - May 30th, 2020, 3:58 pm
    Post #29 - May 30th, 2020, 3:58 pm Post #29 - May 30th, 2020, 3:58 pm
    Rene G wrote:
    ronnie_suburban wrote:
    Dave148 wrote:I get that. It only applies "if" they happen to sneeze or cough as I'm passing them.

    Or speak.

    Or breathe. Check out this nifty article from an upcoming issue of Journal of Fluid Mechanics. One startling sentence: "Recent studies have noted that, while breathing generates droplets at a much lower rate, it probably accounts for more expired bioaerosols over the course of a day than intermittent events such as coughing and sneezing."


    I would like to understand how I am spewing bioaerosols when I am wearing a mask. Until someone convinces me otherwise about my spewing aerosols, I am passing you in the grocery store if you are studying the shelf.
  • Post #30 - May 30th, 2020, 4:30 pm
    Post #30 - May 30th, 2020, 4:30 pm Post #30 - May 30th, 2020, 4:30 pm
    Speaking of spewing gas ~

    Recently found myself trailing a frail older woman in the grocery aisle. Hatted, masked, gloved, wearing multiple layers of clothes. Neat as a pin, simply lots of cover wear. Slowly pushing her cart, a 3-shell snail had nothing on this woman, I tried to stay 6-feet back but kept gaining. At one point, distracted by Tony the Tiger grinning from a box of Frosted Flakes, found myself within a foot or so. At which point she dispensed a 45-second cloud of flatulence that told of Maypo instant oatmeal, beans and out of code smoked sausage. Hint of full-sour pickle rounded out the mix.

    No mere crop-dusting, a full fledged mustard gas banned by the Geneva Convention deadly cloud. Not a hint of recognition on her part, business as usual as she teetered slowly along pushing her cart. I gasped, fell to the floor, paramedics were called, babies cried, grown men clenched their hands, women fainted. After 25-minutes of active resuscitation technique by the Niles Fire Department, I quietly shuffled off this mortal coil.

    No moral to the story, aside from there are dangers lurking in the grocery aisle other than c one nine.
    Hold my beer . . .

    Low & Slow

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